Sekurrity!! Get that Jizzer!

Police say 28-year-old Michael Wayne Edwards, Jr. was staring at a woman inside a Giant food store in Gaithersburg, then followed her to the parking lot where he approached the victim from behind and used a liquid pump spray–similar to soap dispensers–to spray her back and hair. It was determined that the liquid was filled with human semen. Edwards was charged with second degree assault with the possibility of additional charges, and was released on $4,000 bond.

CUM on lady clam down. Don’t get your C-String panties in a twist. What’s the big deal? He is not even all the bad looking. Actually he has a little L.L. Cool Jay sexiness going on. The Scenestirz think we can speak for all our readers in saying we have all been jizzed on in some way or another without our knowing it. You don’t see us getting all prude and pressing charges. Maybe “charging them” but pressing charges is taking it a little far.