JLo has been absent from the apparel business since 2009, when she closed her label Sweetface. It has been announced today that JLo and husband, Marc Anthony, will be partnering with Kohl’s for men’s and women’s clothing and homewares, which should generate $3 billion in sales.
Hopefully, this line won’t flop like Sweetface.
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Crazy Old Uncle Karl Lagerfeld is at it again, this time with Hogan.
Crazy Old Uncle Karl Lagerfeld, what that fuck are these Sketchers meets Steve Madden monstrosities?! Who exactly did you have in mind when you designed this shoe? An 86 year old Dita Von Teese in a jazzercise class?
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Daddy Knowles moved onto a different bitch, so Beyonce’s mother and the creative director of the House of Dereon has put out a line of clothes for Walmart to pay the bills.
We will let Tina Knowles take it from here:
“I know from personal experience how frustrating it can be trying to find clothes that fit comfortably and that are flattering on me. So, I wanted to design a line for women that is fashion forward but at the same time addresses the problem areas that so many women struggle with. I am so thrilled to partner with Walmart as it allows me to create the Miss Tina by Tina Knowles sportswear line for a very affordable price for all women of many shapes and sizes.”
Fashion forward to whom, exactly?! The Pennsylvania Dutch? Waiters in the K-Mart diner circa 87?
Where is Basement Baby’s line? Solange is the real creative force in the Knowles family and we all know that. How about a Walmart line “Basement Bitches.” The line can be made from special textiles that glow in the dark. There should also be built in knee pads for those rough moments under the stairs, and of course all garments should be waterproof for any floods that may occur.
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Jimmy Choo and Uggs do not belong in the same sentence, so why on Earth were these horrific shoes created…if you can even call them that. They also have the nerve to charge $795 for these special edition of fuggs. Apparently, Nicky Hilton owns a pair. Paris, we know you’re reading this, we beg you to please smack your sister as hard as you can and then burn her new “shoes.”
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Excuse my language, but what the fuck does Precious know about makeup? According to WWD, Precious has been visiting Bobbi Brown’s office to discuss the possibility of collaborating on a color cosmetics collection. Does Precious even wear makeup? Coulda fooled us.
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Ugh. I can’t. Gretchen Rossi from the Real Housewives of Orange County, is launching her very own handbag line, tackily called Gretchen Christine Collection with one big ass fugly logo smacked right on the front of it. The scary thing is that from the response of her fans I think this line might actually do well. One person who we know will be happy with the new cash inflow will be Slade, considering Gretchen is his sugar momma.
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The Kardashian sisters are putting their name on yet another clothing line, this time swimwear for the company Beach Bunny which we are sure will be sold at their little boutique, Dash. This week is Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week in Miami where designers show swimwear and the Kardashians were present on Friday for their first swimwear show. They sat in the front row and watched the designs come down the runway. It was what was to be expected, skanky, tacky, and well, for lack of a better word…cheap.
Here’s a first look at the ad campaign. Who wears over-the-knee leather boots with a swimsuit?
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Why the hell would any man want to smell like Bruce Willis? LR Health & Beauty Systems has joined forces with the actor to create the “manliest scent in the world,” called Bruce Willis Eau de Perfum which contains hints of grapefruit, pepper, and vetiver. This collection includes hair and body wash, deodorant, aftershave balm, and eau de parfum.
AND the clincher, the tagline: SMART GUYS LIVE FOREVER.
We just threw up in our mouths.
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