Stone-Age People Used Sex Toys

An ancient dildo was excavated last week in Sweden. Archaeologist Gsran Gruber of the National Heritage Board in Sweden said:

“Your mind and my mind wanders away to make this interpretation about what it looks like — for you and me, it signals this erected-penis-like shape. But if that’s the way the Stone Age people thought about it, I can’t say.”

You can’t say Gsran Gruber? Come on now. What else did the Stone Age people have to do besides make fire, hunt, and fuck themselves with decrepit dildos.

By the way, the ancient dildo isn’t very impressive at about 4 inches long and 0.8 inches in diameter.

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Stone-Age People Used Sex Toys

The Internet Just Got Smuttier

Let’s be honest, most people use the internet for social networking, shopping, and porn so it would only be fitting that the adult industry may be finally getting their own domain .xxx. ICANN, the not-for-profit corporation that coordinates the internet’s naming system, voted to allow the application of the controversial “.xxx” top-level domain name for sites that display adult content. The domain might be mandatory for adult-only sites and the ICM registry already has 110,000 pre-reservations for the domain which could be available sooner than 2011.

The .xxx is pretty hot. It automatically makes you think of sex. Maybe we should change our name to thescenestirz.xxx.

midget porn

xxx

The Internet Just Got Smuttier
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Eel Is The New Dildo

This story is actually not really funny whatsoever it’s just extremely disturbing. A Chinese man died a few days ago after a live eel had been inserted up his ass. The 59 yr-old chef was taken to a Sischuan Hospital with severe anal bleeding and abdominal pain. The doctors were unable to figure out what was causing this, so they made an abdominal incision to find a 50 cm long dead Asian swamp eel. The eel had bit its way through the man’s intestine.

So how the hell did a live eel get up a Chinese man’s ass you ask? He passed out after drinking heavily and his friends shoved it up there as a joke. Nice friends.

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We wouldn’t do that if we were you…

Eel Is The New Dildo

Blasphemy!

Someone in the UK thought it would be funny to write a memo suggesting that Pope Benedict XVI could launch Benedict-brand condoms or bless a gay marriage when he visits the UK later this year. The memo also suggested the Pope ordain a female priest or launch an abortion clinic which are all clearly against the Roman Catholic doctrine. Whoever wrote the memo in UK’s government has been apparently resigned to other duties, notice he or she wasn’t fired.

the pope

Blasphemy!
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The United States Is Going To Porn

Just incase you were wondering what the Security and Exchange Commission employees were doing while our economy was spiraling downward, they were watching and downloading porn on their computers. Over the past five years, there have been cases of 33 employees and or contractors violating the Commission rules and policies by viewing porn and sexually explicit images by using government computers and time. More than half of these workers made between $99,000 and $223,000 a year.

And don’t think it’s just pervy nerdy dudes; one of the biggest offender is a woman. She, a regional staff accountant, attempted to access porn sites 1,800 times on her SEC laptop over a two week period. She also had 600 porn images stored on her hard drive.

computer nerd

The United States Is Going To Porn

In the United States’ efforts to help Haiti, $10 million worth of counterfeit merchandise is being donated to those who need it. The “brands” that are being sent are True Religion, Rocawear, Ralph Lauren, Diesel, and Ed Hardy. The items will be shipped after the labels have been removed. Apparently, counterfeit goods are usually destroyed, however the items that are being sent have been collected from raids taking place over the past two years.

What I want to know is where is this magical warehouse that has two years worth of counterfeit goods sitting around?…and can I get a key?

If the goods are supposed to be destroyed, then how are we able to just send $10 million worth to Haiti and why aren’t these illegal goods being distributed to the people who need them in this country as well. We have poor people too! SMH.

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Haiti To Get $10 Mil Worth Of Counterfeit Goods

Meet Miss Brooklyn

You know how the Scenestirz love ourselves a pageant. The Miss Brooklyn Pageant recently took place and here is the winner, Mallory Hagan and a video of her journey on her quest for the title.

miss brooklyn

Miss Brooklyn Pageant 2010 from Mary Plummer on Vimeo.

Meet Miss Brooklyn

This is getting out of control. Airline Ryanair, which is based in Dublin, Ireland that is known for their low airfares is considering charging travelers 1 euro or 1 British pound ($1.33 or $1.52) to use the bathroom on flights lasting an hour or less. $1.50 to use the bathroom! They’ve lost their mind.

The airline is working with Boeing to develop a coin-operated door release so when passengers need to use the bathroom they’ll have to pay with change. The whole point of this ridiculousness is to encourage people to use the bathroom in the terminal before getting on the plane. The carrier is also considering removing three lavatories on board in order to fit in six more seats which would help reduce fairs by an addition 5 percent.

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Once you get into the airplane bathroom you still have to worry about this…

It’ll Cost You to Relieve Yourself on Ryanair

Beauty queen Angie Sanclemente is in big trouble. The former Colombian model has been accused of drug trafficking by using models as mules. Angie’s claim to fame was being crowned the Queen of Coffee in 2000, which was revoked a day later after the committee found out she was previously married which was against the pageant’s rules. Fast forward 10 years, and Interpol has issued an international warrant for her arrest. Angie is scared to go to prison because she is beautiful and is afraid she will be raped there and suffer psychological damage.

In between all this mess, she has been able to make status updates on her Facebook page claiming her innocence. This is coming from a woman who took the money her mother slaved for, to send her to college and used it to get silicone breast implants. It is rumored Angie is hiding in Argentina and has changed her hair color and eye color in order to go unnoticed.

angela

Colombian Model Accused of Drug Trafficking

Old People Blaze

The number of people aged 50 and older reporting marijuana use in the prior year went up from 1.9 percent to 2.9 percent from 2002 to 2010, according to surveys from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.

The rise was most dramatic among 55- to 59-year-olds, whose reported marijuana use more than tripled from 1.6 percent in 2002 to 5.1 percent.

Observers expect further increases as 78 million boomers born between 1945 and 1964 age. For many boomers, the drug never held the stigma it did for previous generations, and they tried it decades ago.

Some have used it ever since, while others are revisiting the habit in retirement, either for recreation or as a way to cope with the aches and pains of aging.

The Huffington Post interviewed Florence Siegel who walks with a cane and has arthritis in her back and legs. She finds marijuana has helped her sleep better than pills ever did. And she can’t figure out why everyone her age isn’t sharing a joint, too.
“They’re missing a lot of fun and a lot of relief,” she said.

Politically, advocates for legalizing marijuana say the number of older users could represent an important shift in their decades-long push to change the laws.

The Scenestirz will be right there with you Senior Citizens!

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Old People Blaze
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