The Seaside Heights PD just busted Snooki moments ago for disorderly conduct. She is currently in police custody. Earlier in the day, Snooki was partying on the beach with a beer bong only she was filling it up with Coca-Cola . She was also seen at a local bar taking “body shots.”
Sekurrity!!! on Snooks! Leave our Bumpit alone.
Syfy barely announced last month that Tiffany and Debbie Gibson will battle it out in the soon-to-be masterpiece Mega Python vs. Gatoroid, and they have already released a clip of their fight to the death which starts in some VIP tent and ends in the swamp. Had these two done this when they actually had careers they may have still been relevant now. Our money is on Tiffany. She had that white trash edge.
Of course we can not write about these two slunts without giving you a little music video gem from each.
A man dressed as Darth Vader robbed the Setauket Chase Bank branch on Long Island at 11:30 am yesterday morning. When will these Star Wars geeks learn, dressing like Darth Vader on Halloween isn’t cool letting alone dressing like him to rob a bank. How sick in the head do you have to be? Atleast he used a real gun and not a freakin’ Lightsaber.
New Yorkers have lost their damn minds. I wonder if it’s the heat. On Wednesday, a man was arrested for robbing a bank using a bouquet of flowers. We recently reported about Cat Woman who was stealing from shoe stores and an elderly man just passed away in a car crash after attempting to rob a store with his oxygen tank on tow. With these random acts of desperation, the recession can’t be over just yet.
It’s only a matter of time before Ricky’s starts doing criminal record checks before selling costumes throughout the year to these crazies.
A 32 year-old New York City EMT by the name of Jason Green was gunned down in Manhattan after a fight took place outside of a nightclub. Jason Green had been in the news almost a year ago after he did not help a pregnant woman, Eutisha Rennix, who was having a seizure at the Au Bon Pain that Green and his co-worker were taking their break at. They instructed Au Bon Pain employees to call 911 and they left without doing a damn thing and Eutisha, who was only 25, died because she did not get to the hospital soon enough and her baby was too premature to survive and died as well. Police do not know yet if Green was murdered because of this prior incident. Either way, karma’s a bitch. Jason got his.
JASON GREEN
The report of what happened almost a year ago…
Sekurrity!!!
Sekurrity!!! Get that reptile! A Tulsa man who modified his face to resemble a reptile is accused of running down his landlord with a van.
According to reports, Jesse Thornhill, 28, was arrested on a complaint of assault with a deadly weapon, early on Wednesday. The defendant’s mother says her son an altercation with his landlord yesterday and left his residence, but returned today and tried to hit the man with a ‘96 Ford Windstar van.
She told police that she and the landlord “had been having problems with her son.”
The landlord was able to jump out of the way and was not injured.
Can you just fucking imagine THAT coming at you full speed in a white van?!
While performing in Brazil, 50 cent was attacked by a crazy fan. The nut-job was removed and 50 kept going on. What is wrong with people? Go to the 1:44 mark.
Sekurrity!!! A Houston woman believed to be the wife of an oil executive was hospitalized after a package she received that looked like a box of chocolates exploded when she opened it.
Investigators said the box arrived at the victim’s house several weeks ago, but did not explode until she opened it Friday night.
Friends of the women said her face was instantly pelted with nails and tacks, and shrapnel blew so high it landed on the roof of her home, the station reported.
Family members told sources that the woman, who is in her 60s, had surgery Saturday and is in stable condition.
The house is owned by an oil company executive.
We think Willy Wonka is not so happy about the oil spill and may be behind this special box of chocolates. Jus’ Sayin’ Watch Below.
Sekurrity!!!NOTE: PLEASE LISTEN TO BELOW SONG WHILE READING THIS ARTICLE.
Sekurrity!! Grab that hooka wit da bad teef! A Florida man was robbed by a prostitute who he intended to pay to have sex, but changed his mind the moment he saw her bad teeth.
According to reports, Dan Alford told police how he negotiated sex for money with 25-year-old Jennifer B. Elder in his car around 7 p.m. on Monday. Alford discussed buying her a spaghetti dinner and later having sex.
And when Elder smiled, the victim was so turned off by her teeth that he told her he was no longer interested. That’s when she snatched a checkbook containing $78 from his shirt pocket and fled.
Police arrested Elder on robbery charges and insists she’s innocent. She says that Alford tucked the cash into her bra and she took off because she was frightened.
Why isn’t Jennifer smiling in her mug shot?
We don’t know how slutty Rhino’s are, but this bitch does does look happy to be taking it from behind from this Elephant.
Sekurrity!!!A Middle Eastern woman, 5’7” and 120 lbs, disguised as Cat Woman is wanted by police for robbing shoe and skin care product stores in Manhattan and Queens. Apparently the slunt robbed Arche Shoes on Astor Place and made off with a pathetic $86 and then she hit up the Body Shop in Queens making off with $500 which is still not great. A robber with the same description a year ago robbed Nine West in Forrest Hills and stole $500. This woman clearly isn’t just robbing these places because she wants media attention for the fact she is wearing a ridiculous costume.
PS: It wasn’t supposed to blow up to this proportion. I was only doing it because Mario said we needed a good marketing ploy. Everyone needs to calm down. That catsuit is too hot to wear down here in South Beach anyway.
