Xiaoqing, are you really sure you want to transform yourself into Jessica Alba? Really? And I know we made this a Take That SHYYT Off and not a Weave Me Alone but don’t you worry, I see that Brady Bunch hair that isn’t even hers. Her hair stylist must have had a toupee lying around and she grabbed the wrong weave in a hurry. The outfit itself leaves much to be desired for. Is she wearing a frock? A frock that’s like 5 sizes too big for her, and ug-leeeeee. Way to have zero sex appeal Jessica. That’s what happens when you decide to give birth. You become a mom and that’s exactly what Jessica Alba looks like…a mom.

It’s not like Jessica Alba ever had style but ever since she became a wife and a mother she has also become a HOT MESS. There is one trend that she is sporting in this pic that makes me madder than any other lame trend out there and that is knee-high boots with shorts. Bitch, you live in LA. Why do you even own boots and why are you wearing them in 70 degree weather? I think she was trying to dress up the look with the purple over the knee socks that she clearly stole from a high school prep student’s uniform.

And, is it just me, or did she take a dump in her pants? Those sunglasses do not fit her face and the plethora of bad totes is definitely not helping the situation. The people of Walmart are looking a lot better than Jessica Alba these days and that’s pretty bad.